Welcoming my birthday, the first thing came across my mind was the question of what kind of life do I looking for? I got degree, I gave good careers, I have supportive family and friends over the years. So when do I get to have my own little family?
Many advices came along the years, requested me to crush the borderline and find someone to enjoy the life as a complete women both as a wife and a mother. But who cares what deep down inside me. For all the questions, all the worries, all the struggles, all the dreams that haunted me for years. Does anyone realize it and help me solve the problem? Only Allah SWT, to whom I contests for everything. Only Allah, who really are my listeners, for every pray, for every wish….
For those who always talk about my marriage… please remember that everything happen in this world is set up already. We are only Allah’s servant. It’s all under Allah’s willingness, under Allah’s order. No one can change anything in any circumstances without Allah’s permission, nor I.
Who am I? I am no one without Allah. I can only ask to Allah, I can only beg to Allah. I can only pray to Allah, asking Allah’s pleasure, Allah’s willingness, Allah’s guidance and I believe in Allah. Allah knows the best for me.
Things happen for a reason. I might not as good as people thought, nor bad as their judgement. I am who I am. But for sure… I also have willingness, hope, and goal in life. I learnt that we can’t always get what we want but inshaallah we will get what best for us.
Let’s smile and happy with our life. It’s Ramadhan still and we are willing to reach the glory at the end of this holy month…
Amin ya rabbal alamin….
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